Summer days and a tad about self-talk

(a little disclaimer about the UT shirt.  AC ADORES Patti, a Texan, and every time I'm around them I think about how grateful Susie, BJ's mom, would be for the ways Patti loves on my girls.  Well, Anna Cate shows her gratitude and adoration by loving the longhorns or "hook em horns" for Patti.  I just had to say it, because you know I wouldn't be putting any kid of mine in anything orange, but that is because of the other UT).

It seems lately, I've really accepted and even embraced that a productive day means that I've made the most out of living life with my daughters. Maybe it is because I'll be going back to school in less than a month, which will be quite an adjustment. With so much snow in January and February and maternity leave, I haven't worked a full work week in almost 6 months, and I think Anna Cate has forgotten that I do work.

Tuesday morning, I suggested we eat our breakfast outside to celebrate the fact that the miserable heat had broken.  When I asked AC what she was thinking about, knowing what I was thinking is that she should appreciate this time with me in the mornings since I'd really rather be sleeping. She said, "I wish Daddy didn't have a job." When I asked her if she liked eating and explained the value of a job in 4-year old terms, she said, "well then maybe you could get a job, so that he could stay home with me. He'd probably take me to the movie theatre today!"

I'm trying to make the most out of our time together.  All too often, I regret my choice to teach for purely materialistic and shallow reasons. I want to make more money and enjoy more status than I have as an educator, but a pleasant day with my girls will remind me that the summers I get with them is part of the package, and so I tell myself and believe that is more valuable than status or finances!

So, we walk to our pool to swim, picnic in the back yard, pluck tomatoes from the garden, swim with friends and soak up summer times together, even though she'd rather be with Daddy.
It is not fancy, but something about taking the food outside and watching my little girl help me pack, lay the blankets out and light the OFF candles was simply sweet.
I often say as if to throw my hands up, "second children get schlepped around!"  But I think Molly looks happy just to be with Anna Cate...or that is what I tell myself.

The last two days, we had play dates at friends' pools.  By the way, growing up this would have been my DREAM house....one with a back yard pool.  Now, I'm thankful that the community pool is a walk away and that my friends have them.

Thursday we went to Laurie's to play with Evan and Jackson and met up with Alex and Isabel, and mom Megan.  We have done play dates since our oldest children were babies. I'm the last one to have the second child, so Molly is the only baby left.

At Laurie's house, Molly tried the water, and I think she likes it!

But she was just as happy to get some play time with Isabel....

Molly is spending a lot of time this summer in a shady spot so Anna Cate can swim, and I'm so thankful she seems so sweet about it, and I tell myself she is happy and will be a "go with the flow" kid. 

On Friday, Anna Cate dove and swam for her swim lesson and then we headed to Amy's house for a swim with the "big kids."  Amy and I teach together and she is exactly the type coworker and friend this scattered-brain, "fly by the seat of my pants" teacher/mommy appreciates. She was my long term sub when Anna Cate was born, and I loved her from the start.  I have a lot of these organized caretakers in my life, because goodness know this girl needs some direction with all the "details" that overwhelm me of life...

Her sons Chandler and Cullen are both young gentlemen (the type boys a good Texas girl raises), and Anna Cate loved swimming with Cullen.

What Anna Cate remembers about Amy is that she gave her the first popsicle when she was 2.  See what I mean...a caretaker!!

So that is a bit about us enjoying summer. 

Yvette, this is for you:  I could write about how I still go CRAZY when the house is messy and the little bit of self-hate I do when my house isn't as big or clean or organized as Laurie's and Amy's, or how annoyed I am when Anna Cate wakes up before I'm ready to get up and so I sleep as she watches tv. Or how even though I told BJ Molly couldn't be left on the bed, I did it myself..... and she fell off.  OR, the complete stranger who stopped me in the grocery store to tell me when I wasn't looking my daughter "was squeezing the baby's feet as hard as she could," trying to make her scream.

This blog and this life is about focusing on the good stuff, trying to do the best I can for my family, and for msyelf. How can I worry too much about the floors of my house or focus on my failures to be a perfect Mom, when I have these precious girls, who deserve me to keep trying!?  And they need to see a Mommy who wants to believe the best in herself as well as in the world, so I focus on the fun, sweet times, what we have as opposed to what we don't, like Mommy at home, when you really just want Daddy around.