The Queens of the King Family

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Summer

September 03, 2013

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The Same But Different

“Differences were meant by God not to divide but to enrich.” ― J.H. Oldham Lately I've been struggling with my feelings about motherhood, more particularly the way I find myself struggling with Molly in a way that I don't with Anna Cate. Molly fights me on almost everything and I'm at a loss to know what works for her, either in terms of affection or discipline. But in my opening up to a couple older mother about this, I left myself open for a revelation I received Sunday. Ever since I laid on the table when I was 20 weeks pregnant and saw that I was having a little girl, I was so excited to "do this again." I think I simple-mindedly thought having a second girl meant we got to have a similar experience, and when I couldn't recreate the same experiences for Molly that I did for Anna Cate, I felt guilty. I often wonder what I'm doing wrong, how I can connect more and have found myself fearing that I would favor Anna Cate over Molly b...

Hard Things

Summer is officially over this weekend and three weeks ago, we moved Anna Cate in to her dorm room at the University of Tennessee. For many ways, it is the culmination of the entire Senior year and I knew it was coming, but for some reason, the weeks leading up to it gutted me in a way I didn't really expect. I remember driving to school last year and talking about why I wasn't emotional about her "lasts" and I think it was that I was happy that she has her life ahead of her, and I am confident in the foundation she has. As I have not hidden from those who know me, this is not the childhood I would have planned for her. In fact, in many ways, she was having the childhood I wanted for her before our life changed in 2016. That is not to say there is no joy, that there are no gifts in the unexpected journey. Also, this summer prepared us a little bit for her leaving in that she was a counselor at a camp where she spent Sunday-Fridays, with little to no phone servic...

And, she's off...

We've spent the last several days preparing for today. r Anna Cate's first day of Kindergarten! We got manicures and pedicures together. We went to Orientation to meet her teacher and familiarize ourselves with the school and this experience. I sat at this desk and tried to take it all in. This kid is going to be a student! We saw friends who have been friends since babies. We got out our personalized, monogrammed accessories. Last night as I packed Anna Cate's first school lunch, I put a little note in there along with the turkey sandwich, fruit, veggies and yogurt: And I thought about what I would write if she could read more words, what could I tell my 5 year old daughter if she could understand the heart and mind of her mother. I would say.... Dear Anna Cate, Having you as my little girl has been one of the paramount blessings of my life. You are such a fantastic kid, a precious person with heart, and humor and soul like no one I'v...

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