Holiday Greetings with a traditional 2020 “year in review.” We will be celebrating our 4th Christmas here in our home in Tennessee, and 2020’s challenges have given me the chance to reflect on those that prompted our move here with the resounding revelation that no matter how unwelcome our situations, blessings abound. I think back on BJ’s diagnosis with Parkinson’s Disease in 2015, and our struggles in the Fall of 2016 that prompted our move, when I found our family living with uncertainty in unplanned situations, and I have similar sentiments about 2020. So our year-
BJ’s life is full, tending to his backyard chicken and goats, becoming a master gardener, and is a community member extraordinaire (even if his politics on the national level don’t mix with the MAGA base of rural middle Tennessee), including his role as president of the high school basketball booster club. In July he had another round of surgery for deep brain stimulation at Vanderbilt, and we are continually amazed and grateful for brilliant science and humans to make it happen. The programming is already working and he is experiencing fewer side effects from all the medicine. He’s an amazing stay-at-home Dad, cook, and logistics coordinator. While we are away, he balances his busy life with rest. I am just so proud of the way he has been able to adapt. One of Anna Cate’s friends said after spending the night in our home, “your family is opposite -- BJ is like the Mom, and you are like the Dad.” True. The chickens are Anna Cate’s 4H project and she got the highest sale in Hickman County history, putting Dad’s Virginia Tech agricultural degree to good use. We are surrounded by beautiful rolling hills and streams, and friends who give him access to their land, enabling him to fish and hunt -- he says walking while you fish is a good workout and sitting in the woods is meditation. He also regularly rides the Peloton bike. Mindfulness and exercise are good for anyone’s life, but they are especially useful in dealing with Parkinson’s. There are many blessings to this unwelcome diagnosis.
Anna Cate and Molly have adjusted well in their life here, including friends, sports, and a lot of time with family. Each was grade-level county champions for the 4H speech contest in February. . .a small town advantage as they were the only ones who showed up for the evening contest. Anna Cate’s speech was on small-town life and Molly’s was about Tennessee as the state that made women’s suffrage for the United States happen 100 years ago this year!
Anna Cate, 14, a freshman, plays volleyball and basketball, is challenged by her honors Geometry class, and adores her Honors English teacher and class. In order to keep her phone, she has to read “for pleasure” a book a week; some of her choices include stories of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Harry Potter, and a collection of historical fiction and memoirs. I worry that there aren’t enough options for classes, but the universe reminds me that lessons come in all kinds. Last week BJ was checking out at the local grocery store and the teenage clerk said, “is your daughter Anna Cate? She is the only kid in our school who wears a mask -- she has a cool personality.” Last year, it was such a treat to get to see her daily at school in 8th grade as we were at the same school. Closing out middle school, she received the “Bulldog” award from her basketball coaches for being coachable and positive, the “friend of Fred” award voted on by the school faculty for being kind to everyone, and “best all-round” by the 8th-grade class.
This year, she is the 9th-grade class president; she said she timed it perfectly because the kid who was 8th-grade class president was in quarantine. She supports BLM even though her school parking lot is filled with confederate flags, challenges herself physically to work out with intensity, is thankful to be on sports teams, and reads to open up her mind and heart. So when I get nervous about the lack of AP classes, I consider all the growth she is exhibiting and I find peace. For Spring break, Douglas and Becki invited Anna Cate & Molly to go with them to the mountains. This summer, she was invited to a beach vacation with her friend Claudia and a group of families, coming back as part of the gang. Her ability to adapt is truly a gift and she has a heart of gold even if I forget that with her teenage sass.
She loves “rubbing it in” to the family that her cousin Tallulah says Anna Cate is her favorite. Although, we all know that the most special relationship is between BJ and Tallulah -- they call each other “stinker.” AC is a wonderful big sister and cousin; she also enjoys getting to face time with her Texas cousins, Graham and Cilla. Sadly, I don’t have any pictures of them in the collage of pictures because we didn’t see them this year as a result of COVID precautions.
For Halloween, she went as Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Kitty went as Susan B. Anthony. This Fall, Nana treated all the granddaughters and me to high tea at The Hermitage Hotel, in honor of the 100th anniversary of women’s suffrage.
Molly celebrated her 10th birthday in March with a fantastic trip to New York City to see our dear friends Dani and Kennedy, and her Aunt Sarah flew up from Texas.
As we enjoyed subway train rides, Wicked on Broadway, high tea at The Plaza, and some fun dance parties in their beautiful apartment overlooking the city, we had no idea what was about to befall on the city and the nation. We left NYC on March 9 and the city shut down by March 13.
Kennedy is a doctor, and we pray for his sustained peace daily as he has been on the front lines -- he seems in good spirits and we think it might be his fun dance moves or the playlist Molly made him as a way to say thank you for a fabulous birthday trip.
During quarantine, school was optional but I helped Kitty, Molly, and Anna Cate “home school” to be engaged with something!
Our families enjoyed some Sunday brunches and board games during the shutdown, and this summer the girls memorized every song from Hamilton. Maybe our current squabbles in DC would be more entertaining if they could just put their disagreements to hip hop. The Jefferson-Hamilton debate on the national debt is much more entertaining as a cabinet rap battle. In July, when BJ had his three surgeries, Douglas and Becki graciously took Molly with them on a western vacation where they drove to and fly-fished in South Dakota.
Becki then included Molly on a trip to see her grandfather in Wisconsin and to see the arch in Saint Louis. Since they saw some horses out west, both Molly and Kitty decided to pick back up horseback riding at a beautiful ranch here in the country.
I’m reminded daily of the blessings we have in our move that was not in my plan. Douglas said, “Tallulah won’t ever remember when the Kings didn’t live here.”
My parents have their health issues, but thankfully they have remained COVID free, and are complying with our pleas to stay in or careful. They also went on the South Dakota excursion to enjoy the family time and fishing. Mom keeps herself busy with projects and is a city alderman, and Daddy still goes to the office to do some law work, but mostly to be in his comfort zone and listen to History and Literature lectures. He has visited the school to tell stories of his or his father’s from History. In October, I drove them to see our dear friends Chuck and Carla Offenburger as Carla has been placed in hospice. Her spirit is indomitable and it was so special to be with them all in our beloved “sister” state in Iowa. We were able to help them and friends put up an outdoor Christmas tree in October -- it was a highlight of our Fall to be together. It is not lost on me how fortunate I am to have both my parents within walking distance, even if that was unplanned.
Since 2018, I’ve taught yoga here in Centerville and have enjoyed seeing my little business, as well and personal yoga practice, grow as I get to share my love of body positivity, movement, and mindfulness. This ancient practice and my commitment to yoga and running saved my sanity in 2016. I still run (more like jog) and drink the Peloton kool-aid (although we had a bike before anyone had heard of it), and are getting the Peloton treadmill in January. I have enjoyed teaching school here at home, but I have been given the opportunity to take a high school history position in a neighboring county in January. While the drive will add hours to my day, I’m thankful for audible, the Great Courses, and podcasts as well as the chance to grow in my profession. This year has been especially challenging for all of us teachers. For now, the kids will stay in school here. I have learned to not say “never” or “I know what I will do in years from now.”
2020 was supposed to be the year for perfect vision, which doesn’t mean we like everything we see, but that we see clearly the world as it is; 2020 vision has been available if we accept it. COVID and the responses have shined a light on all that was fragile and broken, including our disunity as a country and our worldly attachments to how we think things should be. The question I keep asking myself is “how can I use this to help me grow'' over “who can I blame?” And previous challenges have taught me that blessings will be anywhere if we look. A treat for BJ and me has been weekly virtual Sunday school classes with our church in Fredericksburg and time with family, including a virtual Thanksgiving dinner with my dear Aunt and Uncle. I know that nothing is all good or all bad, that there are seasons of our life, and that the most important lesson is a commitment to be present and grateful, even in the unknown. But sadly I fall short on that as in all honesty, I am leaving 2020 filled with frustration, hopelessness, and blame for political, racial, and cultural division. Yet, my prayer for God to open up my heart for empathy, presence, and gratitude remains stronger than my frustration. I reflect on the nativity scenes in our homes or mind’s eye as symbols of the advent of hope, peace, and love when in actuality, the scene probably wasn’t very welcoming at the time for a young couple and baby in a stable. I can imagine that the Holy family felt uncertain as we have this year, yet that story and baby inspired millions. So my holiday wish for all of us is: May we learn to look for the bright star, seek spiritual gifts, and pray the Serenity prayer in earnest:
God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Peace, Hope and Love~ Sarah
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